If you share Susan’s sentiments, you are also probably wondering why you are never lucky in love, and why Mr Perfect turns into Mr Commitment Phobe the moment you want your relationship to move to the next level.
The answer is quite simple: most of us want Mr Perfect – a smooth-talking hunk who can engage in deep philosophical discussions while whisking you off to exotic destinations. In reality, Mr Perfect is nothing more than a fantasy; a romantic notion that is not sustainable in the long run.
And herein lies the problem. Too many of us look for good husband material in Mr Perfect, while it is Mr Good-for-You who has the right criteria for a long-term relationship.
When we start the dating game, we have a long list of requirements our dream guy must adhere to before we consider a second date. But as we grow older and start to look for long-term relationships, this list changes somewhat. However, it is only a truly realistic list that will change the way you look at men, and at the guy who may not be Mr Perfect but who could be perfect for you.
Looking for a long-term relationship? Your list should look like this...
I want:
- Someone who is kind, generous and honest.
- Someone who wants to spend time and be in a relationship with me.
- Someone I can be open with and who will respect my opinion, even if we don’t agree.
- Someone who enjoys doing things with me.
- Someone who will comfort me when I am upset without feeling resentful.
- Someone who is ready to love and be loved.
The great thing about this list is that it leaves room for characteristics you may never have known you wanted in a partner, and that finding a man who has the above traits will give you the greatest gift of all: a peaceful, loving and comfortable relationship.
So the next time you go out, stop trying to find perfection. It is more important to have a good conversation and great fun. And when you do meet someone you are interested in and you get to know him a little better, ask yourself:
- Does he make me smile?
- Is he a good person?
- Does he treat me – and others – with respect?
- Does he show me that he is interested in a relationship?
- Do I have fun when I am with him?
Let these answers be your guide. Never settle for less. But at the same time, don’t just disqualify a man because his looks don’t match your romantic fantasies.
Simply start to appreciate quality men and open your heart to a good partner, and you will find that you’ll be more likely to find your long-term love and your own personal Mr Perfect.
By Leonie Mollentze
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