Changing your child’s school, neighbourhood or city is never an easy task, but it’s not always avoidable. Fortunately, there are ways to ease the transition.
How do you convey the news to your child?
- Always try to inform your child of any big changes in the family as early as possible. It gives the child a chance to prepare for the change and minimises the feeling that things are out of their control.
- Be honest with your child about the move without overwhelming them with facts or “grown-up” reasons.
- Allow your child to respond to the news and then work with the feelings that arise. Your child might surprise you with their reaction: maybe they’re excited about the prospect of making new friends! Whatever your child feels, let them feel it and acknowledge these feelings: e.g. “It must feel very unfair…” or “Your heart is really sore because you have to say goodbye to all your friends”.
- Explain what will happen in a simple manner. If you are also moving house, tell your child what will be involved: “We’re going to pack all our things in boxes, a gigantic truck is going to fetch the boxes and take them to our new house. Then we will unpack all the boxes…” and so forth.
How will your child be affected?
- The effects of a move on your child depends on your child’s temperament (some are more adaptable than others), age and the way in which you feel about the move and deal with it.
- Children need not be negatively affected. In fact, change is a natural part of life and you can use this opportunity to teach your child how to handle change effectively.
- Think of the practical aspects of the change as well: you might have to leave for school at an earlier time, there will be new rules to get used to, etc.
How can you make the change easier on your child?
- Make a calendar so that your child has a visual idea of how much longer they will be attending their “old” school. This is especially helpful with very young children who haven’t developed time concepts yets.
- If moving house make sure that all your child’s favourite things: blanket, story book, etc. are in one box or bag that goes with you and is easy to find. Check with your child before throwing anything out!
- Keep things as familiar as possible. Stick to your usual routine. Allow your child to still have contact with old friends (it’s NOT better to break off contact and move on) and if they don’t live too far, you could still arrange play dates.
- Allow your child to talk to you about the things they miss. Don’t think that if a child says nothing, there isn’t missing going on – give them the opportunity to remember! Remembering isn’t just about tears and heartache, but also the silly things that Matthew got up to in class or the lovely stories that Miss Brown used to read.
How can teachers make the change easier for a child?
- Arrange a special goodbye party to celebrate the child’s time in the school.
- Get the children to make farewell cards or a big poster of all the things that they’ll miss about the child that is leaving like playing soccer with him or swopping lunches with her.
- Create a memory box. This will hold cards and photos of friends and other memorabilia. When the child is missing things, the box can be brought out and looked through. It’s a way to teach children that even when things change we can still hold on to our good memories.
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